How to Make Hell (habanero pepper sauce)

The other day at the Magnolia farmer’s market, we picked up some dangerously pretty red habaneros. Fresh peppers are the culinary equivalent of a three-week-old puppy–once you pick one up, it is impossible to put it down. I picked up a dozen and made hot sauce.

Here is the conversation that took place after Erik took a taste of the concoction:

Erik: You are a devil woman.
Me: What do you think?
Erik: How do we use this?
Me: Carefully and on our enemies.

Here is the recipe:
(Get a pair of latex gloves to handle the habaneros– otherwise you must refrain from touching the soft tissue of loved ones, yourself or your animals for 24 hours)
One dozen habaneros
A quarter cup of onion, diced
Two large cloves of garlic, smashed
One svelte carrot
Juice of two limes
A half-cup of white vinegar

Sauté the onion and garlic in a little oil, add carrot and a quarter cup of water. Add salt. Cover and let carrot cook until soft.

In a mixer (Chef Cannella wants to use the blender next time) mince habaneros. Add water and lime and let sit. Do not taste.

Add carrot, onion and garlic and mix.

Let sit for three hours.

Strain with fine mesh strainer and bottle.
Add a tablespoon of pulp.
Preserve the pulp in a separate jar.
Refrigerate.
Wear gloves and do not allow those with heart problems near the kitchen.

Get a piece of cheese, an ice cube and a bit of bread.
Taste sauce.
Use cheese to distribute the Capsicum.
Use the bread to sop up the fat.
Use the ice to diminish the blisters.