Friday, March 14. 2008
How to eat (fondue)
You didn't know there was a specific etiquette for eating fondue, did you? Nor did I.My Swiss-French Uncle and my aunt had us over to dinner a few weeks back. They live above Lake Chelan in Eastern Washington. Their house is in the mountains where, come Christmas, the snow sits heavy on the trees and winter makes the land feel like a storybook.
I've never cared for cheese fondue— It's cheese in a communal pot.
BUT. Jean Michele's fondue, the environs and learning how to eat the stuff completely changed my mind.
First, you need day old bread and little cups of cheap and cheerful white wine.
Spear your bread with your fondue skewer, dunk the bread in your cup of white wine wine, dip it into the cheese. Swirl with alacrity.
Swirl and keep swirling until someone else is about to dip their bread into the pot. This holding pattern is to keep the cheese from burning and is considered a responsibility table-wide.
Remove.
Eat.
Things to note:
Should you lose your piece of bread in the pot, you are then obligated to buy the table another bottle of wine. By the time we were done with our dinner, I owed the table a half case.
Read More How-tos HERE
Friday, February 29. 2008
Etiquette at the Chinese Dinner Table
The quick and dirty of showing the Chinese Dinner table some respect:
The dishes don’t like to sit around and get cold. It’s a fast-paced meal with food that wants to be eaten hot. Serving tea is a sign of affection and respect. Pointing chopsticks at other people is a taboo best left for mob movies.
-Eat family style- share plates.
-Always allow your elders to start eating first.
-Do not use your chopsticks to pick out select morsels from communal plates- use a serving utensil, get in, get out, deal with what you got.
-If the fish head is pointing at you, you are the guest of honor. (just saying)
-Unlike at the Korean dinner table, it is okay to pick up your rice bowl.
-politely, and with a smile, slap anyone drumming with their chopsticks.
How to Eat mu shu pork.
The players:
Pancake
Hoisin sauce
Slit end Green onions to be used as brushes
Filling
Take a pancake place on plate.
Brush a dainty slathering of Hoisin onto the pancake just below center (use the green onions or a spoon)
Take a serving spoonful of filling in the just below center of the pancake over the Hoisin.
Fold:
There are three schools of folding. The open end (lazy!) the single open end packet or the doubly closed packet (anal!). I like the single. The trick is to fold with just the right amount of tension without ripping the pancake. Treat the stuff like cheap plastic wrap — pull until you sense strain.
Fold the bottom of the pancake.
Fold the right side of the pancake.
Fold the left side of the pancake.
Turn packet over and let rest.
Read More How-tos HERE
The dishes don’t like to sit around and get cold. It’s a fast-paced meal with food that wants to be eaten hot. Serving tea is a sign of affection and respect. Pointing chopsticks at other people is a taboo best left for mob movies.
-Eat family style- share plates.
-Always allow your elders to start eating first.
-Do not use your chopsticks to pick out select morsels from communal plates- use a serving utensil, get in, get out, deal with what you got.
-If the fish head is pointing at you, you are the guest of honor. (just saying)
-Unlike at the Korean dinner table, it is okay to pick up your rice bowl.
-politely, and with a smile, slap anyone drumming with their chopsticks.
How to Eat mu shu pork.
The players:
Pancake
Hoisin sauce
Slit end Green onions to be used as brushes
Filling
Take a pancake place on plate.
Brush a dainty slathering of Hoisin onto the pancake just below center (use the green onions or a spoon)
Take a serving spoonful of filling in the just below center of the pancake over the Hoisin.
Fold:
There are three schools of folding. The open end (lazy!) the single open end packet or the doubly closed packet (anal!). I like the single. The trick is to fold with just the right amount of tension without ripping the pancake. Treat the stuff like cheap plastic wrap — pull until you sense strain.
Fold the bottom of the pancake.
Fold the right side of the pancake.
Fold the left side of the pancake.
Turn packet over and let rest.
Read More How-tos HERE
Monday, February 11. 2008
How to make sushi rice. Final Sushi Entry
You know how shoes inspire optimism? A man walks into a meeting and if he has nice shoes, you immediately believe he can change your life. He could kick puppies and stomp on bumblebees, but dang if he’s a good man for it.
Rice is a pair of Ferragamos. A meal served with good rice is a meal you can trust. It means that someone cared enough to pay attention to it.
There are lots and lots of different types of rice. Listing them would bore and confuse you. Each variety has a different needs. Some like to be brushed around in warm water. Some like to be gently bathed in cold water.
Sushi rice is a short grain sticky rice. It’s a fat, fragile grain that likes to cuddle and can be over-stimulated easily.
To cook sushi rice you need to first get a good slouch going. This is not a grain that wants you to stand over it imperiously and or be glowered down at it. Hunch your shoulders over and bend your neck out and down. You will need to face the pot directly. If you are looking over your nose or past your eyebrows you’ve gone too far.
Get some sushi rice and put it in a pot. If you want measurements, find another recipe. We here at How to Eat (that) worldwide go with our gut when it comes to rice. You need to listen to the rice. It will say to you, ‘hey, more water’ or, ‘stop touching me’ or ‘I glisten under your touch with delight’.
Get a pot that has a lid and put some sushi rice into it. The rice will expand to three times it’s original size so rice should stand a half an inch in a 5 and a half quart pot. Rinse the rice with 3 inches of cold water. Cold water makes the gluten on the rice move slowly but breaks the extraneous dust off. Rake your fingers through the grains. You’ll hear the grains shuffle. Shuffle the rice three or four times. STOP.
Pour out the water and start again. The water should look clearer in the pot. Don’t touch the rice, just swish the pot around and watch the water cloud mildly.
Make sure you have the posture. If you don’t have the posture you won’t move the pot around with the gentleness the sushi rice requires.
Drain the rice.
There are those who say you must wash the rice until it runs clear. This only serves to rid the rice of most of its nutrients. Wash the rice only a few rinses. Do not over wash the rice.
The shells of the grains must stay in tact. If you break the grains the rice grains will cling to each other. You want them to bond with other things.
Add warm water. Take three fingers and gently rake them through the rice three or four times. Drain the water.
Add new water, place the pot on the counter and check your posture. Slouch.
Shake the pot so the rice levels out. Place your index finger in the pot and set the tip of your finger on the top of the rice. If the water comes up to the line of your first knuckle, you’ve got enough water. If not add more.
The water should be double of what your rice is plus a hair more.
Place rice on the stove and set to medium low (about a four on electric). Place lid on rice. If water bubbles over, set the temperature to low. Cooking time should be about fifteen minutes. Check the rice by placing a wooden paddle into the pot. If the rice feels like a dense pillow, you’re done. It should move slowly and there should be a sticky sound to it. If it loosely gets out of the way of the paddle, you have five more minutes to cook.
After you turn the heat off, take the pot off the stove and let the rice sit covered for another five minutes.
Meanwhile find a Japanese fan or a magazine. Grab your seasoned rice vinegar. After you’ve let the rice cool for a few minutes, take the lid off of the rice and fan it. Then pour in a quarter cup of vinegar. Fan while you gently fold the rice and vinegar together.
Check your posture. If you don’t look like an old Japanese woman, correct your posture. Fan often and with confidence.
Taste the rice. If it isn’t seasoned enough to your taste or if the rice isn’t clumping together, add more vinegar.
What to do with the rice? Check back in.
Read More How-tos HERE
Rice is a pair of Ferragamos. A meal served with good rice is a meal you can trust. It means that someone cared enough to pay attention to it.
There are lots and lots of different types of rice. Listing them would bore and confuse you. Each variety has a different needs. Some like to be brushed around in warm water. Some like to be gently bathed in cold water.
Sushi rice is a short grain sticky rice. It’s a fat, fragile grain that likes to cuddle and can be over-stimulated easily.
To cook sushi rice you need to first get a good slouch going. This is not a grain that wants you to stand over it imperiously and or be glowered down at it. Hunch your shoulders over and bend your neck out and down. You will need to face the pot directly. If you are looking over your nose or past your eyebrows you’ve gone too far.
Get some sushi rice and put it in a pot. If you want measurements, find another recipe. We here at How to Eat (that) worldwide go with our gut when it comes to rice. You need to listen to the rice. It will say to you, ‘hey, more water’ or, ‘stop touching me’ or ‘I glisten under your touch with delight’.
Get a pot that has a lid and put some sushi rice into it. The rice will expand to three times it’s original size so rice should stand a half an inch in a 5 and a half quart pot. Rinse the rice with 3 inches of cold water. Cold water makes the gluten on the rice move slowly but breaks the extraneous dust off. Rake your fingers through the grains. You’ll hear the grains shuffle. Shuffle the rice three or four times. STOP.
Pour out the water and start again. The water should look clearer in the pot. Don’t touch the rice, just swish the pot around and watch the water cloud mildly.
Make sure you have the posture. If you don’t have the posture you won’t move the pot around with the gentleness the sushi rice requires.
Drain the rice.
There are those who say you must wash the rice until it runs clear. This only serves to rid the rice of most of its nutrients. Wash the rice only a few rinses. Do not over wash the rice.
The shells of the grains must stay in tact. If you break the grains the rice grains will cling to each other. You want them to bond with other things.
Add warm water. Take three fingers and gently rake them through the rice three or four times. Drain the water.
Add new water, place the pot on the counter and check your posture. Slouch.
Shake the pot so the rice levels out. Place your index finger in the pot and set the tip of your finger on the top of the rice. If the water comes up to the line of your first knuckle, you’ve got enough water. If not add more.
The water should be double of what your rice is plus a hair more.
Place rice on the stove and set to medium low (about a four on electric). Place lid on rice. If water bubbles over, set the temperature to low. Cooking time should be about fifteen minutes. Check the rice by placing a wooden paddle into the pot. If the rice feels like a dense pillow, you’re done. It should move slowly and there should be a sticky sound to it. If it loosely gets out of the way of the paddle, you have five more minutes to cook.
After you turn the heat off, take the pot off the stove and let the rice sit covered for another five minutes.
Meanwhile find a Japanese fan or a magazine. Grab your seasoned rice vinegar. After you’ve let the rice cool for a few minutes, take the lid off of the rice and fan it. Then pour in a quarter cup of vinegar. Fan while you gently fold the rice and vinegar together.
Check your posture. If you don’t look like an old Japanese woman, correct your posture. Fan often and with confidence.
Taste the rice. If it isn’t seasoned enough to your taste or if the rice isn’t clumping together, add more vinegar.
What to do with the rice? Check back in.
Read More How-tos HERE
Saturday, February 2. 2008
How to Eat Sushi
All this talk about mercury in tuna got us hungry for sushi. The next four entries will be all about eating sushi and making rolls.
Sushi is snack cuisine. It’s meant to be eaten with your hands while half-drunk and on your way to all-drunk. The fact that sushi chefs train for eight years to become sushi chefs means that there is a certain amount of respect that one needs to give sushi.
Here are the Rules of Respect:
Don’t put wasabi on your sushi in front of a real-life sushi chef because it’s like putting hot sauce on your croque monsieur in front of a real-life French chef
Don’t dip your rice in the soy sauce
Dip your fish in the soy sauce
Eat the thing in one near-choking bite
How to Eat Sushi:
Use chopsticks to take a bite of ginger
You may use your fingers to pick up nigiri and seaweed wrapped rolls
Turn the piece of nigiri over and eat the sushi so that the fish touches your tongue first (for reals!)
Sip of miso
Repeat
There’s more to it than that, but that’s in the book which is due out soon. Promise.
Read More How-tos HERE
Sushi is snack cuisine. It’s meant to be eaten with your hands while half-drunk and on your way to all-drunk. The fact that sushi chefs train for eight years to become sushi chefs means that there is a certain amount of respect that one needs to give sushi.
Here are the Rules of Respect:
Don’t put wasabi on your sushi in front of a real-life sushi chef because it’s like putting hot sauce on your croque monsieur in front of a real-life French chef
Don’t dip your rice in the soy sauce
Dip your fish in the soy sauce
Eat the thing in one near-choking bite
How to Eat Sushi:
Use chopsticks to take a bite of ginger
You may use your fingers to pick up nigiri and seaweed wrapped rolls
Turn the piece of nigiri over and eat the sushi so that the fish touches your tongue first (for reals!)
Sip of miso
Repeat
There’s more to it than that, but that’s in the book which is due out soon. Promise.
Read More How-tos HERE
Thursday, January 10. 2008
Live Rich and Eat Cheap- Part 3: $3.14 of Glory, Fresh Sardines
Things you should never pass up: Free Money. A second glass of champagne. Fresh, whole, silver six-inch long fish.
Fresh, whole, silver six-inch fish are exciting and adorable and full of possibilities. They’re like a first date but cheaper. We got a package of four sardines at the Ballard Market for $3.14. Three bucks and fourteen cents of glory.
Sardines are not a main course but they make an excellent prelunch snack and turn into the ideal spread for the hors d’oeuvres platter.
Prelunch snack recipe:
Clean and behead fish. We learned from our smelt endeavor that the heads were good but not necessary to eat.
Stuff bodies with fresh thyme and thin, narrow slices of lemon.
Baste with olive oil and a pinch of salt.
Heat grill.
Make a paste out of a strip of minced bacon, one tablespoon of mustard and one minced green onion.
Grill the sardines for about 8 minutes and flip.
Squeeze lemon juice from one of the slices that have inevitably fallen out of a sardine onto cooked side.
Spread paste over the top of the fish (you can sprinkle bread crumbs over paste if you like) and close lid.
After another 8 minutes take them off the grill and serve.
Click Here to Learn How to Eat (Sardines).
Fresh, whole, silver six-inch fish are exciting and adorable and full of possibilities. They’re like a first date but cheaper. We got a package of four sardines at the Ballard Market for $3.14. Three bucks and fourteen cents of glory.
Sardines are not a main course but they make an excellent prelunch snack and turn into the ideal spread for the hors d’oeuvres platter.
Prelunch snack recipe:
Clean and behead fish. We learned from our smelt endeavor that the heads were good but not necessary to eat.
Stuff bodies with fresh thyme and thin, narrow slices of lemon.
Baste with olive oil and a pinch of salt.
Heat grill.
Make a paste out of a strip of minced bacon, one tablespoon of mustard and one minced green onion.
Grill the sardines for about 8 minutes and flip.
Squeeze lemon juice from one of the slices that have inevitably fallen out of a sardine onto cooked side.
Spread paste over the top of the fish (you can sprinkle bread crumbs over paste if you like) and close lid.
After another 8 minutes take them off the grill and serve.
Click Here to Learn How to Eat (Sardines).