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The simple beauty of a hotdog is an American Truth. In a time when being an American means something different than it used to, the hotdog still stands proud to be at the ballpark, the county fair and the Costco. The hotdog doesn’t question or have political agendas. It just wants to experience the traditions of this country with everyone who can stand to eat mystery animal bits.

The American Truths at Costco have become a dicey little game for us. Before leaving Missoula yesterday, we went and got a hotdog at Costco. It was early, but we were hungry and no longer willing to spend our money on the restaurants of The Most Food Forsaken Town of America.

We’ve danced this hot waltz with the devil before. Eat the hotdog. Release the hotdog. Regret hotdog.

But they’re only a buck a piece!

So we go back. Still we load the sucker up with mustard and saurkraut and we one-two –three-it into the phrase Never Again.

What draws us back to the Costco hotdog?

I’ll tell you what it is: Because they’re there. They aren’t loyal to you, but they’re there.

Food on the road is never easy. In Paris there are too many choices. In Ritzville, Washington there is one. Portland has a swath of greatness speckled with mediocrity.

Missoula, Montana– a beautiful place with wonderful people– needs a restaurant high colonic.

Here's the rundown of where we've et at:

Finn and Porter Go for dinner. our hotel's restaurant:

- Great Mashed potatoes, made better if you ask that the teaspoon of raw garlic be left off.

- The Penn Cove Mussels are wonderful at the bar. Horrible from Room Service.

- Avoid breakfast unless you crave fat with a side of sneer.

- Beautifully rounded wine list.

- Their wild mushroom sautée is a medley of button mushrooms

Red Bird Run AWAY!

- Touted as one of Missoula's best.

- Red Bird gives food the middle finger and then charges you for it.

- I want to rip the quality of service apart, I do. I suck as a server, so I won't.

- We had rice cakes with red curry sauce, pork and shrimp fried spring rolls, beef kabobs with peanut sauce. The rice cakes were fried to humiliation. The pork spring rolls were slightly burnt, the beef kabobs were beef carpacio kabobs.

- We wanted this place to be adequate. We looked forward to going. We look forward to seeing it close.

- It is a nice room!

- great sauces, someone needs to be commended for them.

- The kitchen staff needs more direction and more clean towels.

- The red silk banner that covers the kitchen door needs to be replaced with something that doesn't get flung aside like Madam Bovary's virtue every time someone walks into or out of the kitchen.

El Cazador

You know in the reality tv shows when some character does something completely offensive and another character says, oh hell no.

- Beef tacos should never do that to anyone ever.

- e-v-e-r.

Caffe Dolce (just opened)

- Have a coffee and chocolate rubbed tritip blue cheese and arugula sandwich for lunch.

- Have any of their house made pastas for dinner

- Try their house salad and rethink what house salad means

Iron Horse eh.

- Food is fine.

- Service is waiting for every patron to turn, magically, into a football player.

- Kitchen staff to be avoided when met in dark alleys, bowling alleys or anything with only two exits.

Want. To. Go. Home.

Erik and I went on a trip to Missoula. Our goal for the trip was to avoid gastrointestinal distress as our last trip to Missoula was full of bouts of fleeing to the bathroom.

While on the road, one finds themselves eating things they just wouldn't – like Subway chicken wraps and popcorn shrimp from the deli counter of Walmart.

We threw the popcorn shrimp, which had been fried in a baking soda batter, away. Not before I tried to make them better with a spicy barbecue dipping sauce. The sauce made the popcorn shroimp go from god awful to god awfuller.

It was horrible stuff.

The subway chicken wrap couldn't be called horrible because it didn't taste like anything.

It was a day of learning to follow your food instincts. While I don't want to be a snob about food (because it is all waste product in the end), I do think Walmart and Subway will be on the list of things to avoid on the road.

Of late a friend of ours has been ranting about all of the bloggers he serves. To give him a voice, I've summarized his angst.

Top three complaints from your server about you, the restaurant blogger.

Note taking: You are there to eat and enjoy. Notes don't help you eat. They don't help you enjoy. They make you look like a weenie. Stop acting like a weenie, eat something. If you can remember what you ate, write about it.

Mentioning other online reviews: Your server is there to deliver food to you, not hear about what you read online. Eating out is entertainment and a little hobby for you, for your server it's a hectic job.

Taking names so you can skewer people on the web: Not fair. Not cool. Not a service to others.

The place is like your ideal life-partner: If you step up to the plate, Chiso is ready to mirror your best qualities. The service is professional, smart and warm. The prices are reasonable. The menu is varied and unique.

We had:
Crab Sunomono (crab and seaweed salad): Excellent, with big pieces of crab.
Miso Soup: thick with stewed daikon and at 2.50 a bowl, worth it.
Unagi (grilled eel): Not too grilled or over-flavored.
Saba (Mackerel): I finally re-tried saba. It was nice, not at all fishy but certainly oily.
Maguro (Tuna): Honestly, it was completely unremarkable. But we all have our neutral nights.
Negihama Roll (hamachi ad green onion): we scarffed these down as if we hadn’t eaten in a year. Very good.
Oshinko Maki (pickled daikon): I keep waiting for an oshinko roll that will raise my eyebrows with flavor. It’s unreasonable to expect this, except that my grandfather made oshinko rolls on occasion and they made me happy.
Spider roll (deep fried soft-shell crab): Made human size. Most Spider rolls are too big to eat with grace. These could be eaten without offending other diners.
Nigori Sake (unfiltered and cloudy): Sweet and cute, like a lamb… only liquid.
Okunomatsu Sake (filtered) Dry with a touch of sweet.

All for 68 bucks (without tip). The sake alone was 22 bucks.

A note on the rice: It's made with spare seasoning. Though not overdone, it was a touch broken.

I’d review Saito’s but I’m sick of sushi and my wallet cannot afford it.